Donating to Nonprofits

Exploring the popular narrative that blindly giving money to nonprofit organizations is “better” than giving to human beings.

Today’s “Homeless Initiatives Newsletter” from the City of San Rafael, CA features Lynn Murphy, the SRPD’s Mental Health Outreach Liaison. I think Lynn is great, and my professional interactions with her during my own homeless outreach work were very positive.

In the article Lynn says, “…when you see someone panhandling, rather than give money to that person, consider donating to an organization which helps homeless people with services. Sometimes panhandlers don’t use money wisely.”

I would add: Sometimes nonprofits don’t use money wisely either.

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Being a Kid

When telling stories, implication is everything. Many words we use every day are burdened with deep, culturally-specific meanings we may not always realize we are invoking. As writers and speakers, we can choose to be mindful of our words every once in a while.

Describing someone as a “kid,” for example, can carry lots of awkward connotations. Sometimes it’s appropriate to invite these associations, both positive and negative– because that’s what it means to be young in this world. But not always. Here in the United States, many of our embedded cultural narratives paint kids (and teenagers) as: Powerless. Irresponsible. Unintelligent. Naive. Insignificant. Incapable. Silly. Undeserving of some human rights. Maybe we don’t always need to burden our characters with that “kid” stamp right away. Maybe we just let them be people for a little while, and see what happens.

Oh– and maybe we try it with the “kids” in our real lives, too.

Art: Two-Sided Silhouette

"Untitled Silhouette" painting by Janet Gutierrez

Untitled Silhouette” by Janet Gutierrez (acrylic paint on repurposed canvas).

Lili’s 13-year-old sister Janet made this beautiful painting. Janet is an amazing, strong, kind person; it has been wonderful getting to know her and help support her. Janet and her sisters create awesome powerful art, and Janet also makes one-of-a-kind clothing and cosplay accessories.

Janet and her other two sisters Deborah and Ailinn continue to report being severely abused by their mother. Child Protective Services is involved, but does little more than give the mother a “stamp of approval” to further abuse her children.

We visit the children every week, and this is what we see (and what they tell us): they do not get fed, they do not get appropriate nutrition or physical health care, they live in filthy unclean conditions, they are psychologically tortured and bullied by their mother every day, they are isolated within their home and physically prevented from leaving, they are exposed to dangerous people (pedophiles, etc.), they do not get appropriate mental health support, they do not get any academic support, they do not get any emotional or personal support, and so much more. The children also report that their mother brutally bullies and harasses them late at night and early in the morning until they are too traumatized to go to school.

CPS has done nothing to address any of these issues, despite significant evidence from us, the children’s therapist and teachers, and the children themselves. Almost every day the children report more terrible things being done to them. The social workers accept the mother’s inconsistent lies and do not engage in adequate investigation to uncover even simple facts. (For example, she tells them she works as a landscaper, when in fact she doesn’t have a job and sleeps all day.) They even help the mother create excuses for school and doctors to explain why all of her children are missing school for months at a time.

Every day, Lili cries in silence for the torture that is killing her sisters (who are also like her daughters, since Lili’s mother has forced her children to provide all care for each other for many years)– and for her own powerlessness to stop it.

This piece depicts a silhouette with two faces, surrounded by a wonderfully-detailed “stained glass” effect in the background.

UPDATE #1: The children’s therapist filed a complaint to CPS regarding the social workers’ illegal and unprofessional actions. Within days the therapist received a call from CPS, informing her that the children were being removed from her therapy. This was the only response the therapist received regarding her official complaint. The children were then transferred against their will to a new CPS-paid therapist. The same worker is still assigned to the case, and the children report to us that the worker continues to engage in abusive and unprofessional behaviors. The children report that when they told their CPS worker they feel unsafe and want to keep their old therapist, the worker told them they were “being immature,” insulted them, and said she thought they were lying about being abused by their mother.

UPDATE #2: We successfully gained guardianship of the children, and they now live with us! CPS concluded “no evidence of wrongdoing,” but were still forced to take action because they could not deny that the children had not attended school for 7-18 months, lived in filth, had poor hygiene, were rapidly deteriorating with severe mental health struggles, and were continuing to say they were being abused. So the abusive mother got off scot-free, but the children are safely with us.

Standing Up

Martin Luther King, Jr. speech

Sometimes, conflict isn’t just about the person or thing you’re fighting. And quite often, it’s really not about whether you win or succeed. It’s about yourself and your own growth. It’s about building your boundaries, catalyzing your communities, and setting an example for those who don’t yet know how to speak for themselves. It’s about standing up.

What Is Guerrilla Art?

Many articles will tell you guerrilla art is a form of “street art” based in graffiti that originated in the UK. Today I want to tell you: it can be so much more.

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Conflict

A simple mistake: Thinking conflict will make things better.

A worse mistake: Thinking things are better just because there is less direct conflict.

Evil– real evil– thrives unnoticed in the cracks between such distinctions.

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