Being a Kid

When telling stories, implication is everything. Many words we use every day are burdened with deep, culturally-specific meanings we may not always realize we are invoking. As writers and speakers, we can choose to be mindful of our words every once in a while.

Describing someone as a “kid,” for example, can carry lots of awkward connotations. Sometimes it’s appropriate to invite these associations, both positive and negative– because that’s what it means to be young in this world. But not always. Here in the United States, many of our embedded cultural narratives paint kids (and teenagers) as: Powerless. Irresponsible. Unintelligent. Naive. Insignificant. Incapable. Silly. Undeserving of some human rights. Maybe we don’t always need to burden our characters with that “kid” stamp right away. Maybe we just let them be people for a little while, and see what happens.

Oh– and maybe we try it with the “kids” in our real lives, too.

True Stories: ‘Mary and George’

Once upon a time, in a strange little town in California, I served as a “street outreach liaison” working with homeless youth in parks, under bridges, across the railroad tracks, and everywhere in between. This is a true story of one of those experiences. Read the first two True Stories: Peter and Hacky Sack.

Continue reading True Stories: ‘Mary and George’

Art: A Lovely Grin

"Untitled" painting by Deborah Figueroa

Untitled” by Deborah Figueroa (acrylic paint on canvas).

Lili’s 14-year-old sister Deborah made this painting. Deborah is a wonderful, brilliant person, and her art and writing are uniquely fantastic. Her perspectives and ideas are really interesting. The years of terrible child abuse have broken Deborah down pretty far, but she is still growing and doing the best she can every day. (See this post and this post to learn about the abuse Lili’s sisters are going through. UPDATE: After a lengthy CPS case we are now guardians for the children, and they live safely with us.) Deborah really cares a lot about her sisters, and tries to do whatever she can to help and protect them. I hope Deborah will keep writing and making art. I’m always excited to see anything she creates.

Art: 500 Ghosts

"Untitled" painting by Ailinn Camacho

Untitled” by Ailinn Camacho (acrylic paint on canvas).

This painting was created by Ailinn, Lili’s 11-year-old sister. Ailinn is awesome! Even with all the abuse she is suffering, she is already trying to speak up for herself and protect her boundaries. (See this post and this post to learn about the abuse Lili’s sisters are going through. UPDATE: After a lengthy CPS case we are now guardians for the children, and they live safely with us.) Ailinn always tries her best, and cares for her sisters and us.

Ailinn also made the “paleolithic tool” seen in the Cosplay Gas Mask post. One weekend when their mother was gone we took the girls out near a dry creek bed, where we all smashed rocks together until an appropriately long, sharp fragment chipped off. (This is a basic technique of ancient tool-making.) Ailinn found a stick under a nearby fallen tree, to which she lashed the stone shard to form an actual semi-functional tool. I hope Ailinn is proud of her work. We certainly are!

Art: Two-Sided Silhouette

"Untitled Silhouette" painting by Janet Gutierrez

Untitled Silhouette” by Janet Gutierrez (acrylic paint on repurposed canvas).

Lili’s 13-year-old sister Janet made this beautiful painting. Janet is an amazing, strong, kind person; it has been wonderful getting to know her and help support her. Janet and her sisters create awesome powerful art, and Janet also makes one-of-a-kind clothing and cosplay accessories.

Janet and her other two sisters Deborah and Ailinn continue to report being severely abused by their mother. Child Protective Services is involved, but does little more than give the mother a “stamp of approval” to further abuse her children.

We visit the children every week, and this is what we see (and what they tell us): they do not get fed, they do not get appropriate nutrition or physical health care, they live in filthy unclean conditions, they are psychologically tortured and bullied by their mother every day, they are isolated within their home and physically prevented from leaving, they are exposed to dangerous people (pedophiles, etc.), they do not get appropriate mental health support, they do not get any academic support, they do not get any emotional or personal support, and so much more. The children also report that their mother brutally bullies and harasses them late at night and early in the morning until they are too traumatized to go to school.

CPS has done nothing to address any of these issues, despite significant evidence from us, the children’s therapist and teachers, and the children themselves. Almost every day the children report more terrible things being done to them. The social workers accept the mother’s inconsistent lies and do not engage in adequate investigation to uncover even simple facts. (For example, she tells them she works as a landscaper, when in fact she doesn’t have a job and sleeps all day.) They even help the mother create excuses for school and doctors to explain why all of her children are missing school for months at a time.

Every day, Lili cries in silence for the torture that is killing her sisters (who are also like her daughters, since Lili’s mother has forced her children to provide all care for each other for many years)– and for her own powerlessness to stop it.

This piece depicts a silhouette with two faces, surrounded by a wonderfully-detailed “stained glass” effect in the background.

UPDATE #1: The children’s therapist filed a complaint to CPS regarding the social workers’ illegal and unprofessional actions. Within days the therapist received a call from CPS, informing her that the children were being removed from her therapy. This was the only response the therapist received regarding her official complaint. The children were then transferred against their will to a new CPS-paid therapist. The same worker is still assigned to the case, and the children report to us that the worker continues to engage in abusive and unprofessional behaviors. The children report that when they told their CPS worker they feel unsafe and want to keep their old therapist, the worker told them they were “being immature,” insulted them, and said she thought they were lying about being abused by their mother.

UPDATE #2: We successfully gained guardianship of the children, and they now live with us! CPS concluded “no evidence of wrongdoing,” but were still forced to take action because they could not deny that the children had not attended school for 7-18 months, lived in filth, had poor hygiene, were rapidly deteriorating with severe mental health struggles, and were continuing to say they were being abused. So the abusive mother got off scot-free, but the children are safely with us.

Standing Up

Martin Luther King, Jr. speech

Sometimes, conflict isn’t just about the person or thing you’re fighting. And quite often, it’s really not about whether you win or succeed. It’s about yourself and your own growth. It’s about building your boundaries, catalyzing your communities, and setting an example for those who don’t yet know how to speak for themselves. It’s about standing up.

What Is Guerrilla Art?

Many articles will tell you guerrilla art is a form of “street art” based in graffiti that originated in the UK. Today I want to tell you: it can be so much more.

Continue reading What Is Guerrilla Art?

Guerrilla Art: Speak

"Speak" painting by Lili Lopez

Guerrilla art against abuse: “Speak” by Lili Lopez (acrylic paint, glitter, glue).

Lili made “Speak” as a gift for her abused cousin. It is a reminder for her cousin to keep speaking up for herself, even if others won’t listen.

Continue reading Guerrilla Art: Speak

Conflict

A simple mistake: Thinking conflict will make things better.

A worse mistake: Thinking things are better just because there is less direct conflict.

Evil– real evil– thrives unnoticed in the cracks between such distinctions.

Continue reading Conflict

True Stories: ‘Hacky Sack’

Once upon a time, in a strange little town in California, I served as a “street outreach liaison” working with homeless youth in parks, under bridges, across the railroad tracks, and everywhere in between. This is a true story of one of those experiences.

Continue reading True Stories: ‘Hacky Sack’